Friday, February 20, 2009

oh PS... sorry that post is SO long!
Just not that into you... (And Ellen, I do not see any space for a title... maybe the layout is different?)

So the year of 2008 was a difficult one, dating wise. Every time I found a guy to start liking, or as soon as I had a crush on one... I would find out he was dating someone, or engaged. No joke, this happened at least four times. So summer rolls around, and the only dates I had been on were blind dates set up by my roommates.
There was this guy at work that I was considering thinking was cute and that maybe I could be interested in... but no one ever seemed to notice me. So I told my friend at work about this, and he meddled. He is very, very good at that!
So this kid, lets call him... Trevor. He asked me out, and I got kinda overly excited cause he was the first guy all year to even ask me out --after which I found out my friend had convinced him to. ...oh well.

We go on a few dates and I am kind of unimpressed, but he is asking me out and he is the only guy to all year... so I keep going on dates. I'll be honest, I had missed attention from guys, I needed some affection. When you live away from home and you can go days, nay, weeks, without any affection... it gets to you. So... we started to watch movies (PS, message to all guys out there... I hate, Hate! going to movies on first dates. It always makes it awkward, cause you don't know if he wants to hold your hand already, and it is the first date! You don't get time to talk, and get to know each other... so it is not a good idea. Unless it is like an improv theater where they dub over the movie anyway, and everyone can talk... but eh... you should still do something more, vocal for the first date.)
Oh, right, back to the story of "Trevor". So, we have been on a few dates, made dinner for each other. I've noticed he kind of acts a little strange, like maybe not the best social skills, but whatever, no one is perfect. So, we are watching a movie or whatever... and we start to cuddle. Now, before you think, aww cute... let me tell you. He put his head on my shoulder.

Let me repeat this. He, the guy, put his head, yes, his... not pulling me to him to put me, the girls head on his shoulder, but his, the man, on my shoulder.

So, instead of making me feel protected and delicate and cutesy as a girl should feel... he made me feel like the masculine one. (Yes, I do have very nice and defined biceps, but that is merely a side note and just a cool thing about me.)
And to top it off, he kept moving his head, and it was kind of getting on my nerves.

Then comes the 4th of July. He invites me to have dinner with him, so I go over. Then it gets to be like ten or so, and we had been watching TV or playing rock band or something, and he is like, well its getting kind of late, maybe you should go home.

I'm thinking--fine, I'll go home. You keep putting your head on MY shoulder, twitching your head, and you keep rubbing your nose and it is bothering me. I get home to an empty house. I am alone, on the 4th of July. The same 4th of July that the prior year I had gotten a first kiss from "*ick Jerkham" So it was kind of a bad day to be alone, cause even though that jerk had been a scum bag and a cheaterface, at least I wasn't alone... so I was like be alone or call up an exboyfriend? (Just kidding, I never once thought about calling him up. I just felt lonely and sorry for myself)

So I am texting some friends and saying, wo is me... then I am like, man, if he was here on my front lawn with me watching the fireworks, and tried to kiss me, I would kiss him. Long story short, someone texted him and told him if he came to my house I would kiss him. Longer story short--He and I never talked about that. He never asked me if it was true, he never asked if I knew who did it... nada.
I believe he had fallen asleep.
At Ten.
On the 4th of July.

Anyway, finally I went to bed... probably around 11:30.

But for some reason, I kept going out with him. The end of the semester was looming. He asked me where I saw us going. He asked me to visit him during the summer break.

I bought a plane ticket for $250.

I go and visit him. its fun, we are friends, and by this point his twitchy head and nose obsession and random little farts had really started to be big things that bothered me. I never acknowledged that I noticed those things... but they honestly would piss me off...and kind of gross me out.

So, we are hanging out with his family and its all cool... then he tries to hold my hand...for the first time... in front of his family. Going into the shark exhibit... saying, I'm scared, hold my hand. I am like !!Gah! Again, with you being the girl and making me the masculine one, stop it! What he could have said that I may have thought was cute and sweet is, "Oh Jenni, if you get scared by these sharks you can hold my hand and I will protect you." But no. he got all girly and said, oh Jenni, I am a little girl please hold my hand!

...moving on.
The next day we go on a hike, sans the fam, and we are hiking... and we stop on this bridge overlooking a river. It is a popular stop for people to take pictures, and there are tons of kids and parents around. Thats when he turned to me and said, Would this be an okay place for a first kiss?

And thats when in my mind I was like, oh noooooooo! But, aloud I was very mature and cordial when I said, Oh my, there are tons of people around... and (as I am walking, very briskly, away...) I don't believe you should ask for a first kiss.
And as I am basically running away, I am thinking... do I want this guy to kiss me? I don't think I do. So I try to get to a spot with reception and text someone to help me with this decision... but I am afraid to stop hiking for fear that he will try to move in for the kill and I will vomit. He didn't try for the rest of the hike.

At the end of the day, I had talked to my mom and she said, well give him a chance, maybe when you kiss him you'll feel the sparks. (cause I wasn't feelin anything...except repulsion.)
So its like 9 pm.. and his family goes to bed early. And so everyone is in bed and I am like, yikes I better go to bed so he doesn't try anything. So I'm like, well I am off to bed. He walks me to my room and says, Can I give you a goodnight kiss? And I don't remember if I said anything, but he leaned in, gave me the kind of peck you give your grandmother, and turns and walks away.


I felt nothing. Actually, it felt like if you were to kiss a wall.
I am a romantic, and I guess I have requirements that were not met.
He didn't linger, he ran away.
He didn't push hair behind my ear... he barely even touched my lips with his...
and I realized in that moment that he could have done all those things and I still wouldn't have wanted him to kiss me, cause I didn't like him.
Sure, he is a great guy, amazing piano player actually, but I had no attraction to him.

So the next morning was my flight home, finally. We went to lunch before he took me to the airport. And I tried to not make eye contact cause I didn't want him to see that I had no feelings for him.
Then he needs to fill up with gas, and as we pull into the station he says, "Oh, I just realized I've payed for everything this week, would you mind splitting for gas?"

I almost lost it.... sure, he had payed for dinner, and a movie or two, and lunch that day, but his parents payed for me to go to the amusement park with them, and actually I think they gave him money to take me to the theater. ...and I had payed a grundle for the plane tickets... hello!! That is totally socially unacceptable! (At least by me... does anyone else agree?)

So I am like, sure... but all I have is a ten cause I don't normally keep cash on hand.

But inside I wanted to yell the aforementioned.

So he takes me to the airport, and he kissed me goodbye. I went home, didn't ever start texting him, and then when I came back out to school, I kind of fibbed and said that I had started dating someone. Through a text. Which is socially unacceptable... unless you are telling it to someone who has no social propriety.

Other things I couldn't stand about him:
his pleated pants.
when I gave him a massage he critiqued and said, something like if you want to be good, you do this. And I am like, whoa, I dated a kid whose mom was a massage therapist, and she taught me... and everyone has a different style, and the massages you give aren't that great but no other guy has been touching me so I let you.
the fact that he went to bed SUPER early.
he wore white socks with his dress slacks-- and he always wore sneakers with his dress pants.
ooh! This one killed me... he would always say We. We are hungry. We want to do this. We, We, we.... and did he ever ask me beforehand? NOPE. I do not like to be a we before I am ready. He did it from day one. I am very independent I guess... so that honestly killed me. grr... it makes me angry thinking about it now! haha

Anyway, any questions?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

So yesterday I almost rolled my car... and here is that story.

I was taking my old roommate to Idaho Falls to get her phone fixed, as the only tech guys were in IF. So, it was lightly snowing earlier in the day, but by now it wasn't. We got off on HITT road and I was going under the speed limit cause there was snowdrift on the road, but I still happened to hit a patch of ice. It was a two lane road, and I saw another car coming up as I was veering towards it, and started fishtailing. I don't recall if I hit on the brakes ever, but I do believe I tried over correcting. thats when I spun around and hit into the "ice"bank, as any snow bank in Eastern Idaho becomes after a day. And the car felt like it was going to roll, but then stopped. It stopped short of hitting into a telephone pole, by about one foot. The front tire popped, or something... (see picture)

I sat in shock with Candace as the person I almost hit kept driving, and the person behind them pulled off and had called the cops for us, and checked to see if we were alright. A few minutes later this huge truck pulls up, and this man asked if he could pull us out, so we let him. I was driving on my rim to get into someones driveway so that we could wait for the cops and so that he could put my spare on for me. Such a sweet generous man! As we were waiting for him to flip around to pull us out, we see another truck pull up to see if they could help. At the same time, on the other side of the road someone had been following behind another car too closely, and had to pull into a snow bank to avoid rear ending them. The roads were terrible!

Anyway, I was getting to be overwhelmed by the graciousness of strangers stopping and offering whatever help they could.

This accident reminded me of one I had many years ago, when my dad was driving some of us youth home from a sledding activity, and we hit a patch of ice and we did roll. I was reading the Work and the Glory and it hit me in the head, giving me a bruise in my eyebrow, and hitting my dad on the head, for he was driving and I was in the passenger seat and I ended up in the air. Amy and Alix were in the back seat, Amy was wearing her seat belt... but Alix hadn't yet put hers on! So she was flying through the car! (lesson, wear your seat belt!) When we had gotten flipped back over, Amy kept yelling at my dad to slow down, he was barely going five miles an hour! I bet Candace wanted me to go faster, I was hardly going more than twenty the rest of the way. And, to go straight I had to have my steering wheel turned at least at a ninety degree angle to the left. I hated it!

I was lucky enough to have a friend randomly be in Idaho Falls at the same time, and I talked him into driving my car home so that I wouldn't have to, because I was not mentally stable at all to drive! I have already decided that I will never drive in the snow again, and I plan on waiting until my parents come up to see my dance show to let them help me deal with it, and take my demon car away!

Friday, February 06, 2009

Just not that into you...

I am very excited to go see He's just not that into you, the movie, I read the book and loved it. Lately I've been thinking of writing some blogs about my crazy dates... They aren't crazy so much as... me being uninterested. Am I too picky? Maybe. But, I feel like I deserve(? No, but, something like it) a guy similar to me.

So, there was the guy who was nine years older than me, 28 when I was 19. I didn't know he was 28 when I first met him and started dating him... and age really wasn't the problem. Mostly it was that I was still in love with someone else, and he did not act his age. That bothered me. Also, he was a poor dresser. He was stuck in the 90s, where you wore shirts that were three sizes too large. Also, when I tried to end things, he was telling me he loved me, and that maybe I didn't feel anything for him because we hadn't kissed yet. He had tried to kiss me once in a parking lot where there were people washing their cars, as well as the fact that it was noon. I don't know, I feel like a first kiss should be more romantic than the middle of the day, not to mention not around other people!

Stay tuned for more episodes of disastrous dates...

Sunday, February 01, 2009

1. I pretend to know more about cars and computers than I do to be more attractive to guys.
2. I abhor clocks that tick, and people who put them in their guest bedrooms. I hope to never own a clock that ticks, though I do think they look nice… just can’t stand the ticking, it irritates me and makes my heart race. I can’t think or concentrate when I hear one, and that’s one reason why I don’t wear watches anymore.
3. I can type very fast. I have never timed myself, nor have I ever taken a typing class. Sometimes my computer will beep at me and tell my I am typing too fast—I think it does that to warn you that someone is holding a button down or typing nonsense.
4. Also, I only type with four fingers, my two index and middle fingers is all. Sometimes an occasional left hand pinky. It all started with chicken pecking typing when I was 11 and started chatting online.
5. I was introduced to both Spice Girls and Hansen by my best friend in fifth grade—Bradley Johnson.
6. Bradley was my first kiss, at age 11. He was dating Janae and I was dating Andrew, and it was the summer going into 6th grade and we hung out every day because we lived a block away from one another. He would roller-blade over and we would cheat at monopoly against the younger neighbor kids, and we decided if Andrew or Janae tried to kiss us we would need to know how.
7. He and I started dating.
8. Brad and I broke up almost everyday… haha
9. I don’t know what he is up to anymore.
10. I love to be random—and my dream job is to be a stand up comedian or improve actress.
11. My favorite word to shout out at improve shows is “ANCHOVIES”. Why? Because no one expects it.
12. I am slightly stubborn. I don’t like to give up, but if someone is pressuring me or is too persistent in making sure I do something, I will not want to do it at all and be stubborn in that way.
13. I always seem to attract guys I am not interested in. I feel bad for feeling that way… but it’s the truth. I have thought about writing a book about it, though I feel that someone already has… (Romantically Challenged by Beth Orsoff, funny funny book!)
14. I once made a psychology joke in my journal, saying that my friend was going on a semi blind date, with a guy she had met a few months before, and that she was setting me up on a blind date with his friend, so when I wrote about that I said it was a “Double Blind” date, and I laughed for about ten minutes…
15. I often feel like I have an old man sense of humor.
16. Ten people have tagged me in this survey, and it has taken me that long to decide to do this.
17. I read a blog about cakes every day—
18. I secretly wish my parents had named me Rhandi, instead of Jennifer. Those were the two names they were deciding between.
19. Also, I secretly love that everyone quotes Forest Gump and calls me “Jen-nay”… though I am always super sarcastic and rude and say, oh wow that’s original.
20. I use to want my license plate to read “8675309” (from the 80’s song) or “JWO519”
21. I love that my initials are JWO, so I can be gangster.
22. I once got a second degree burn reading Twilight. Summer of 07, in Burley at the lake when I was suppose to be flirting with cute Croatians.
23. I have an insatiable sweet tooth. Honestly, I have heard about people eating too many sweets and not wanting to eat them anymore… that doesn’t happen to me. If the cheesecake I am eating is too rich, I will eat the whole thing, wait two minutes, drink some water, and wish I had more to eat.
24. I love Zach Braff, Leonardo Dicaprio (despite what people might say, he is a great actor), Topher Grace, and Patrick Dempsey. Also, Erik Von Detton. And Christopher Gorham. Give me nerdy sheik, and I am all yours baby! Also, I am attracted to older men. About three to five years older, and I’m melting like a grilled cheese sandwich.
25. I like to pretend that I am everyone’s favorite, that I am prideful about it, but honestly I am so humbled by anyone who likes me and am so surprised. I love to listen to people and learn from them.
26. I steal cute phrases people make up… like that one about melting like a grilled cheese sandwich—I got that from my friend David Baughman about 8 years ago.
27. I like to think that I brought certain styles back, like in 02 I wore a retro dress to prom, and the next year everyone was wearing retro dresses! Also, my mom made every single one of my dresses I wore to school dances, so at least 9 dresses…
28. I love music, and music that expresses emotions.
29. I love to make faces at little kids! Also, car flirting. One of my favorite things!
30. I am slightly an overachiever, I am sometimes too helpful, and I love to be clever, creative and…. Whatever else that other word is that I am looking for.