Holy Mother of Chocolate Cake

Layers:

3 ounces semisweet chocolate

1 1/2 cups hot brewed coffee

3 cups sugar

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cups unsweetened cocoa powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

1 1/4 teaspoons salt

3 large eggs

3/4 cup vegetable oil

1 1/2 cups buttermilk

3/4 teaspoon vanilla

Frosting:

1 pound semisweet chocolate

1 cup heavy cream

2 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons light corn syrup

1/4 cup unsalted butter

You’ll need:

Two 10- by 2-inch round cake pans

Wax paper

Electric Mixer

A good attitude

For the layers:

Preheat oven to 300°F. Grease those pans. My grandmother lines the pan bottoms with wax paper, too. Finely chop the chocolate. Then, in a bowl, mix the chocolate with the hot coffee. Stir until smooth.

In a large bowl, sift together the sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. In another large bowl, beat the eggs for about 3 minutes. An electric mixer works best. Then, slowly add the oil, buttermilk, vanilla, and melted chocolate mixture to the eggs, beating until it’s all combined really well. Add the sugar mixture and beat (on medium speed). Finally, divide the batter between your pans and bake them in the middle of your oven for about 65 minutes.

When that’s done and your kitchen is smelling really, really good – Cool the layers completely in their pans. Run a thin knife around the edges of pans and invert the layers. Carefully remove the wax paper and cool the layers completely.

For the frosting:

Finely chop the chocolate. In a saucepan, bring the cream, sugar, and corn syrup to a boil over moderately low heat, whisking until the sugar is dissolved. Remove the pan from the heat and add the chocolate, whisking it until it’s all melted. Now would be the time to whisk in that butter until smooth. Put the frosting in a bowl and allow to cool, stirring occasionally.

Then, spread the frosting between your cake layers, over the top and around the sides. Now, find a fertility specialist and give her what she wants.

Insanely Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cake

For this one, you can opt to use the same frosting from my grandma’s Holy Mother of Chocolate Cake. This cake also works pretty well without any frosting at all. It’s up to you.

2 cups flour

1 1/2 cups sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 1/4 cups sour cream

3/4 cup butter, softened

1 teaspoon vanilla

3 eggs

1/2 cup sugar

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 (6 ounce) package chocolate chips (I like the mini kind)

Heat your oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 13 x 9 pan. In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, sour cream, butter, vanilla and eggs. Mix all of that goodness together. You can use a mixer at medium speed for about 3 minutes.

Then, pour half of the batter into your pan. In a separate small bowl, combine the sugar and cinnamon. Sprinkle half of that sugar mixture and ½ cup of your chocolate chips over the batter. Repeat with the remaining batter, sugar mixture, and chocolate chips. Bake it all at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes.

If you want to add the frosting from my previous recipe, you can do so now. If not, no worries. Baking cakes at people is fun, isn’t it?

Give Them What They Want Double Fudge Cake

Again, you don’t have to use frosting on this cake if you don’t want to. If you do, use the frosting from my first recipe.

6 ounces semisweet chocolate

3/4 cup butter

1 cup sugar

4 eggs

1 cup cocoa powder (not drink mix)

1 teaspoon finely ground black pepper

1 pinch salt

Preheat oven to 350° F. Prepare an 8 inch round pan by greasing its bottom and sides. Cut a circle of waxed paper and fit it around the bottom of the pan. Grease that, too.

Coarsely chop your chocolate. Then, melt the chocolate and the butter over simmering water. Stir the sugar into the chocolate. Beat the eggs (fast and hard), one at a time, into the chocolate. Next, add your cocoa, pepper, salt, and stir. Pour the batter into your prepared pan and bake about 40 minutes.

Cool about 10 or 15 minutes. Then run a knife around the edge to loosen, and invert on a plate.