Attempts at the car lights with slower shutter speeds


This is just one of my favorite pictures I had taken so far this fall... it was in November on a freakishly hot day in Enumclaw on a hike. I edited it slightly to make the side of the tree darker and I just can't stop looking at it! I should take a picture of it in the frame I put it in... ah I love it!
Accidental self portrait on a ferry after a YSA campout and service project.

Loving this band and this song... also seems kind of fitting at the moment... hehe

25. Well, maybe... :)

Right now I am listening to the "She and Him" pandora radio station... it's been a great choice! It features bands like She and Him, Fiest, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Rilo Kiley, and The Acorn which I can't figure out if they are the same as Ohbijou or just share a singer... either way... I've really been enjoying it, especially while reading Little Women.

I just recently remembered I said I wanted to read 20 books this year... eeks!

Which reminds me, one of my co-counselors at EFY would start off each day at the group gospel study with a report of how we were doing on our group goals and how we could achieve them that day. This makes me think of new years resolutions, or any goal we set for ourselves. How often do we actually take an inventory and see how we are doing on those things?

Well, time to look back on the year and see how many books I have read and how many more I need to read before the end of the year!!

I read the Hunger Games series, loved it, so thats 3 (within the past two weeks might I add.)

I have read 7 books in the True Blood/ Sookie Stackhouse novels, they are easy reads and pretty fun. So there's 10, half way there!!

I read Shutter Island before I saw the movie, liked them both town between wishing I hadn't read the book first... (11)

Hahaha.... Murder Takes the Cake... eeks.. it was free remember? hahaha (12)

The Last Song (13) I enjoyed it, also saw the movie and I like Miley Cyrus so whatever.

I can't remember if I did re-read any of the Twilight books... but either way I don't think I'd count it... so looks like I need to read 7 more books before the end of the year! EEK!

I am almost half way through Little Women (did you know it is a super long book? I am enjoying it, just sayin...)

What book suggestions do you have for me? (PS, I maybe am interested in reading the Birth Order books...)

On Saturday I went to Gig Harbor for some photo taking, and once my friend and I had wandered around the town a bit we realized we were hungry... but what to eat when you are on the harbor? Why, Fish and Chips of course! So we went to this dinky little place right next to Anthony's (which is a fancy schmancy fishery) And had the most AMAZING from scratch beer battered Halibut and chips and such mouth watering tartar sauce!

I didn't think to take a picture before we started eating... but there were two pieces of the Halibut and oh it was so amazing. The lemon had some chili powder on it, which was something new, but delicious! It didn't actually seem to make a difference except for the fact that we were in love with this meal.

Here is some of the scenery of the restaurant...


And our view...

I went to Gig Harbor this weekend on a photo shoot excursion, this is one of my favorite shots of the day!

Serial Dating, for cereal? For Serious.

24. Now 24 is someone I think I could actually be interested in, he is chill yet motivated and productive. He and I go out and take pictures together and it is nice. He is however, very good friends with 21... not to mention good friends with both my ex-boyfriend Alex's best friends, David and Scott. (Yes, I dated two different guys named Alex, one when I was 14 and the other when I was 17 to 21ish? Anywho, just a weird coincidence.) We've only been out "shooting" twice, and the first time we talked about a bunch of stuff, how we would like to live IN a city, like own a building and have the lower part a garage, the middle a dance studio or restaurant, and the top your house... I was recently inspired with this idea from Grey's Anatomy where Christina and her Husband (weird to say btw) buy an old Firehouse! Fire Station? whatev. I think it would be so awesome to have a dance studio in my house, why not live in the downtown city and hold weekly dances, charge people for them, and have it be a side business! It would be great! Especially if somehow it could be an after school hangout that is an appropriate place for kids, and a good environment? Yeeaah! After that we were driving around and picked out houses for him to buy me. All in all it was a blast. Part of my hesitation here is height... which might just be me being vain and petty. sigh.

25.
26.
27.
28.
29. Well, I am not sure if there really even is a 29 anymore. I was suuper into him. Okay, super might be stretching it too... but he was really cool. and super attractive, not a stretch. We met at a YSA dance a few months ago now, I remember walking past this cute 23 year old and his friend on my way to the drinking fountain and they stop me and say, hey you can't say hi to us? And I say, my bad I was just getting a drink.. then on my way back in I invited them to come dance with my group and they decline at the moment but come join us later. It's all fun and I am taking a liking to this blond 23 year old even though we aren't really talking but just dancing in a group... then theres a slow song.. and he doesn't ask me, neither does his friend... and then the dance is over! And I am like, man this sucks! But I decide to kind of hang around and the cute 23 year old is actually hanging around a little bit too... and then I see him ask his good friend for his number and realize, they had just met! I think that at that point he also asked me for my number. Then we are chatting a little and they are turning lights out trying to get everyone to leave and I say, hey too bad you didn't bring a suit you could come hot tubbing... and he says, hey I might actually have one in my car... so we go out there and we get sidetracked just talking and somehow he says he works at a gym and I go, oh as a trainer cause I realize he is riiiiiipppped! For serious, super ripped. And then I am thinking, dang, I need to get him to my house. hahaha. shallow! anywho. Turns out we parked side by side. turns out also, he doesn't have a swimsuit with him... but I suggest my brother has one he could borrow. So he follows me and we hot tub and chat, turns out he is a Podiatrist, a foot doctor. And that he is 29. Now, at this point I was already attracted, but hearing he was 29 I was like, mmmbaby! (And the fact that I had him half naked in a hot tub!)

So we are just chatting and getting along and he mentions he is going out of town but he'd like to see me again sometime and I suggest he text me when he gets home so that I have his number and he gives a great hug goodnight... very firm... even more so since his body is so firm...

So he does text me, and I text him a little but the rest of the weekend I wait, and after he gets back from his trip he texts me and I refer to a joke we had made and he invites me to his place and we watch a movie and hot tub and cuddle and it was great.
So we do that a few times, then I helped him invite me to go out with his friends on his quads and I realize that we don't talk as well now, but I am still attracted to him and he remains a mystery although does he? I keep thinking of the movie made for my mind--He's Just Not That Into You-- and thinking... well he doesn't text me as much... he doesn't invite me to things... I have to try to suggest them... but when I do he goes for it and we end up doing something like going out to Seattle for a laser light show that is full so we walk around Seattle and go to the Melting Pot for Dinner, YUM! but... since he isn't really trying it isn't going anywhere which is so lame! I've got more guys than I know what to do with, but the one I want doesn't want me. Is that the reason I want him?

Sigh.

I think that part of it with him was that I was trying to stay cool, and not be over bearing so I over analyzed everything I did, timing my texting and stuff... when I should have just been me and not worried about it because by removing myself so much I may have come off as disinterested when really all I had been waiting for was him to ask me out.

So now I have a ticket to this hockey game this Friday and I don't know who to ask. I did as 29 but he doesn't get off work til 7 and can't really get off any earlier and the thing starts at 7 and he lives 40 minutes away plus its a friday night and he'd be fighting tons of traffic... so he declined. I am trying to ask his friend who I met through him... but that might not be the best idea although I know he really likes Hockey (and is 25 haha)... and then there is this other guy I met because of 29 inviting me to a football party at this random girls house, he was easy to talk to and fun, but I don't know if thats weird to just ask a guy I haven't talked to for a few weeks and have only met and hung out with once to a crazy hockey game with my sister and brother in law... or there is this really cute and funny guy that one of my dear friend's served his mission with... or a new 22... or 21, 24 works late so he's out... maybe a different 29 but he always ignores me and I know he has a temper so I wouldn't want to date him... my good friend 25 is out cause he works nights...

moral of the story is that I feel like a serial dater, I feel like I have such a great opportunity right now, yet, the guys I am really interested in are not returning my calls--who am I kidding, texts, I don't call people... so I still feel like no one I like likes me, which I feel ridiculous feeling since I know what it is like when no one likes you and people like me say oh it'll be okay hon and I want to punch them... so oy.

Remember how I use to write about my disasterous dating life?
Remember how in the summer I had two boys and didn't know what to do with myself or my feelings?

WEellll.... it's kind of like life is giving me a big joke right now...

the joke is that I have maybe 6 guys chasing me.

Okay, I am exaggerating quite a bit... mostly for entertainment value. And for self esteem purposes.
But let me explain!

My favorite part of the guys that like me right now are their ages. So instead of names, we will just use their age. And whatever other nick names I want. Cause I do what I want.

19. We all remember him, from the dance team I coached last year, he talks nonstop and gave me 24 "kisses" on my birthday and toilet papered my yard a few times. Well, he was in love with me or whatever but he is now on his mission, which is great! I am NOT waiting for him. I wrote him once, and I might write him again. Not as often as he asked--once a week? heeeeeellllllzNO.

21. It was unclear as to if this guy was trying to date me or ask me out... he calls and invites me to things like dinner and a movie but then invites his other guy friend so it's me and two guys--which I love. so I wasn't sure. but he texts me regularly and he finally asked me out last night over the phone--for next friday night. I'm not sure how excited about this I am... which I will explain a little later better, but for now it is that he has bad breath to be blunt. and is pretty fresh off the mish, and I had heard that he did NOT like older women so I was excited that we were just friends but oh well. I love that he likes me for my story's sake if nothing else.

22. Let me preface 22 by saying that my dear friend Kyle often comes over to hang out and hot tub after he gets off work, and we always have fun and just talk about life and things. We are both aware that we are friends. (Last year I was hoping he had been into me cause I was diggin him, but I am over that) SO, sometimes Kyle will invite his friends over to hot tub with us. He did this a few months ago and his friend was instantly charmed by me. I did nothing. I was just hanging out with the guys... but I digress back to 22. So, again Kyle comes over to hot tub, and invites a friend, and 22 comes. Maybe it is the sight of me in a swimsuit -NOT- but again, without trying or even aware of it? 22 loves me. He texts almost nonstop, always inviting me out but I need sleep! So I decline, or say, sure you can come over and leave by 10pm so I can get some sleep. 22 flatters me, and is really strong. Too bad for him he is over confident in his view of what I think of him, and he is a meathead and is seriously like that girl from How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days-- no joke, one morning he texted me to tell me what he ate for breakfast. And let me tell you, it was 8 eggs, three pieces of toast, an apple, two glasses of orange juice, and something else I am sure. I was full for three days just hearing about that much food! He also tried to start using pet names with me after the second night we hung out... I'm just not feelin that.

23. This is one of the summer boys-- the one I was less into by the end of the summer. PS, turns out the one I was more into most likely HAD a girlfriend while we were dating. Stupid boys. Anyway, 23 is backpack. ...and I really feel like he is turning to me so much because the girls at school aren't returning his affections. I don't know if I am right in thinking this, but thats how it feels to me. Maybe thats because I have 85 guys after me and I have NEVER had that and I don't know what to do? But it could also have something to do with the fact that I decided the last time I visited him in his home town that yes we have fun together, but there are big differences in the way we want to live our lives and we have such different views on certain things... and I realized for me that we are great as friends and I didn't want anything more than that. Which is so ironic that he was all passive this summer saying he wanted to be friends and just chill and not ruin the friendship and I wanted a commitment, and now it is so flipped. He wants to be inlove with me, he keeps calling me love and all I want is for him to stop texting me 7 times a night and talking about the SAME things (why don't we ever talk? I miss you, do you hate me? Oh we never talk and I miss it) BLECH. Broken record much? Sheesh. And whenever I explain we never talk because I am working he complains and tries to give me a solution--which I did not ask for or need. Every day he feels more and more like my high school boyfriend. Which in turn only turns me off more.

Lately I've been wanting to do a cool music challenge, like listen to a CD a week... since the era of iPods, I think we collect music a lot more liberally, and sometimes that means we don't appreciate our vast collections or even give some of the old stuff a chance. I am trying to figure out the best way to do this kind of a challenge... I have way more than a years worth of weekly music, so it should be more of like a CD a day... but do I have time to listen to music for the required 45 or so minutes? Sounds silly... but I've been swamped with working two jobs and pretending to study for the GRE. I was suppose to just sign up and take it two weeks ago... but studying and taking practice tests scared me away from that... and why? Because I don't have the time to devote to it.

Lately I have been considering going to CityU, the grad school that accepted me as soon as I paid my application fee... the benefits are: Live at home, commute only 20 minutes or so. Keep working at one of my jobs... with the possibility of getting a job through the dance team I volunteer at teaching 5th graders dance. (with the right training I would LOVE that) another pull to stay here and go to CityU... is dating.

now, dating needs to be another post. And I really need to do a lot to improve that aspect of my life and narrow it down and find ways to be straight forward so that I know what is going on there...

My parents are thinking of buying a new house, and renting out our current one. They suggested I could live in our current house and have roommates, which could be quite awesome! Part of my wants to move out and establish myself and be able to do what I want with life without my parents being RIGHT there... (cause dating after high school but still living at home... not the most exciting. Any guy that is over my mom will make a comment like, oh he's cute and I am like, MOM. We are friends NOT engaged. She is always planning the wedding and it is irritating. haha) but if they were to move out, I still wouldn't have to pay rent which is a big pull of living at home, the free aspect, but they would be gone and not micromanaging my life. Not that they are... but it's weird.

I still feel a little like I am waiting for life to happen, even though I KNOW that it IS happening and I have to go and do stuff to enjoy it to the fullest, to really experience it.

Sometimes I really wish I went to a psychologist so they could listen to my ramblings and maybe encourage a decision cause I am way too indecisive. Or am I? (get it? hahaha... )

Anyway, back to the music... hahahaha. The other day I put my iPod on random and I had THE BEST playlist! I was digging every song, not wanting to skip anything! I then tried to go back so I could add all the songs to a playlist and enjoy them in that order again later but I messed it up a lilbit.

It was something like this:
Anberlin
Vertical Horizon
Juliana Theory
Garbage
Bush
Avril Lavigne

Haha. It was just a really good mix and felt like a great fall soundtrack.

Holy Mother of Chocolate Cake

Layers:

3 ounces semisweet chocolate

1 1/2 cups hot brewed coffee

3 cups sugar

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cups unsweetened cocoa powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

1 1/4 teaspoons salt

3 large eggs

3/4 cup vegetable oil

1 1/2 cups buttermilk

3/4 teaspoon vanilla

Frosting:

1 pound semisweet chocolate

1 cup heavy cream

2 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons light corn syrup

1/4 cup unsalted butter

You’ll need:

Two 10- by 2-inch round cake pans

Wax paper

Electric Mixer

A good attitude

For the layers:

Preheat oven to 300°F. Grease those pans. My grandmother lines the pan bottoms with wax paper, too. Finely chop the chocolate. Then, in a bowl, mix the chocolate with the hot coffee. Stir until smooth.

In a large bowl, sift together the sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. In another large bowl, beat the eggs for about 3 minutes. An electric mixer works best. Then, slowly add the oil, buttermilk, vanilla, and melted chocolate mixture to the eggs, beating until it’s all combined really well. Add the sugar mixture and beat (on medium speed). Finally, divide the batter between your pans and bake them in the middle of your oven for about 65 minutes.

When that’s done and your kitchen is smelling really, really good – Cool the layers completely in their pans. Run a thin knife around the edges of pans and invert the layers. Carefully remove the wax paper and cool the layers completely.

For the frosting:

Finely chop the chocolate. In a saucepan, bring the cream, sugar, and corn syrup to a boil over moderately low heat, whisking until the sugar is dissolved. Remove the pan from the heat and add the chocolate, whisking it until it’s all melted. Now would be the time to whisk in that butter until smooth. Put the frosting in a bowl and allow to cool, stirring occasionally.

Then, spread the frosting between your cake layers, over the top and around the sides. Now, find a fertility specialist and give her what she wants.

Insanely Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cake

For this one, you can opt to use the same frosting from my grandma’s Holy Mother of Chocolate Cake. This cake also works pretty well without any frosting at all. It’s up to you.

2 cups flour

1 1/2 cups sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 1/4 cups sour cream

3/4 cup butter, softened

1 teaspoon vanilla

3 eggs

1/2 cup sugar

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 (6 ounce) package chocolate chips (I like the mini kind)

Heat your oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 13 x 9 pan. In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, sour cream, butter, vanilla and eggs. Mix all of that goodness together. You can use a mixer at medium speed for about 3 minutes.

Then, pour half of the batter into your pan. In a separate small bowl, combine the sugar and cinnamon. Sprinkle half of that sugar mixture and ½ cup of your chocolate chips over the batter. Repeat with the remaining batter, sugar mixture, and chocolate chips. Bake it all at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes.

If you want to add the frosting from my previous recipe, you can do so now. If not, no worries. Baking cakes at people is fun, isn’t it?

Give Them What They Want Double Fudge Cake

Again, you don’t have to use frosting on this cake if you don’t want to. If you do, use the frosting from my first recipe.

6 ounces semisweet chocolate

3/4 cup butter

1 cup sugar

4 eggs

1 cup cocoa powder (not drink mix)

1 teaspoon finely ground black pepper

1 pinch salt

Preheat oven to 350° F. Prepare an 8 inch round pan by greasing its bottom and sides. Cut a circle of waxed paper and fit it around the bottom of the pan. Grease that, too.

Coarsely chop your chocolate. Then, melt the chocolate and the butter over simmering water. Stir the sugar into the chocolate. Beat the eggs (fast and hard), one at a time, into the chocolate. Next, add your cocoa, pepper, salt, and stir. Pour the batter into your prepared pan and bake about 40 minutes.

Cool about 10 or 15 minutes. Then run a knife around the edge to loosen, and invert on a plate.

Why do I want to be a high school counselor?

Well, part of the reason is because I want to teach high schoolers ballroom dance. Is this a good enough reason for a career that isn't a dance teacher? ...

When I first applied to BYU-Idaho I applied as an el ed teacher. It took me one day after submitting that I said, whoooooaaaaaaaaaa! No way! Haha so I remember looking through the catalog and looking at a bunch of majors and then, thinking about how I was enjoying my psych class at the community college and how I really wanted to get into the psychology of personality class... and I thought hmm... maybe I should be a school counselor so I can work when my kids are in school and have the same vacations as them because lets be honest, most likely both parents are going to need to be working.

Is that a good reason to want to be a high school counselor?

I have done EFY for the past two summers and I LOVE working with the youth, so I know that age group is my favorite... I do know that is a good reason to want to be in the high school setting.
But should I just find a way to be involved with EFY every year instead?

I guess I should preface some of this deep introspection... well here it is, post preface at least. haha
Tonight we had an additional relief society meeting, where Dr Yamata, a clinical psychologist came and talked to us. I had heard the topic was "Fear of Progression" And I was SUPER excited because thats me. I am that.

I never really had to plan life, but in high school you apply for college. My friends were, and I did. I don't remember when I decided I wanted to go to BYU-I, but it was the only college I even applied to. And for whatever reason, in college I said, yeah I want a masters. But I didn't plan it. I should have taken a gre prep course my senior year, and taken the friggen test back then.... but I didn't. I didn't understand all that. Freudian as it may be, my parents never did that stuff and therefore didn't teach it to me, so thus making it their fault. ;) I only buy into that so much. I am in charge of myself and can change that stuff and I should have taken that initiative, but I didn't realize I needed to. So thats why I am here.

Back to tonight, Dr Yamata gave a good talk about perception and thoughts and feelings and truth... it was good. But it wasn't the AMAZING insightful sermon on how I can stop having a fear of progression in life-- and let's be honest. I am afraid of becoming something. In high school my boyfriend was jealous of me and there was a tension in our relationship because I had a job and he didn't, or I had a better job and he didn't, or I was better at this than him, or yada yada... and I like a man to be in control, to be the strong one, to take the lead. I LIKE it when a guy orders for me at a restaurant! So I am afraid of becoming something, a young woman with a master's degree, a real job, tied to a place where there are no guys to date or to a place I might not want to leave if I meet a guy who needs to move somewhere else. because lets be honest, I am motivated to meet a guy and get married. thats been the plan, the goal ever since forever when you grow up in the church. So thats part of the reason I didn't plan this far or take all the right steps to get me into a masters program yet... cause I thought I'd be married by now.

That said, I do enjoy not being married yet! I am having fun in life, turns out I am a bit of a workaholic... but is that more of a coping mechanism to not have to deal with life because I don't have time to think about how I haven't done all the things I want to in the time frame I expected myself to?

(pausing to think. Should I just send this in for all of my grad school apps inplace of the essay for "why do you want to be a school counselor?" haha... yikes! Too much info. I always mean to write just a little and then this huge self analysis happens... and I don't know how to cut it up!)

Going with Dr. Yamata's lesson or whatever, I do have the bigger picture in mind, that I want to have a family and yadda yadda, but I can't pin down the little details cause I don't want to make the wrong choice... but I know that whatever I choose I will make the best of it, I always do. I look for the bright side of everything, the best in everyone.

...so what grad school do I pick?

Dance Log 2
(would be three but I skipped town last week--more to come on that. )

I was so excited to go back to dance class and see what more there was to learn! And I looked pretty cute. Anywho, the best/funniest/truest thing I learned tonight was this:
Cheri "This is not your grandmother's ballroom dance... where she went to the dance and waited for a man to ask her to dance and she got twirled around and then dropped off and waits for the next guy to ask her to dance. No. This is the modern woman's take on ballroom dance, Equal Partners!"
I really thought it was funny and so applicable, and kind of cool to see that just as the world has changed and roles have morphed a little, ballroom dance takes part in that, and we both must do out parts to make the whole work. I think that is one thing I love about partner dancing is that it takes the two of you trying and putting forth this effort for it to work out the right way. Active participants I suppose.

Anywho, I don't have much else cool insight on the matter, but I love dancing. :)

Dance Log 1

(I still don't know how to make a title.)
My beautiful, talented, and dear friend Alyssa is taking a dance class, inwhich her teacher said it would behoove the students to have a dance journal.

Interestingly enough, I read that today... and then I went to a dance class.
During the class I thought, man it would behoove me to be like Alyssa and have a dance journal too!And since it is less painful and more fun to write on a computer and post it online, I thought, this blog would be a great place!
So... it might be painfully boring to begin with, but wait til the end, I promise it'll be good!
First hour, 6:30-7:30... American Fox Trot. At first I though, uuuuuuuuugh Fox Trot. But I was determined to have a good time, so I plastered on my Fox Trot Smile (it's real, I have a particular smile just for Fox trot and boy is it cheesy!)Just like this lady, a big cheesy smile, yet it is elegant and refined!

It is also similar to what my face looks like in this next picture... in which I am indeed dancing...Fox Trot!Notice the smile? Notice how it is full of joy, ease, elegance, grace...

all while my shoe is falling off and I am trying to figure out how to get my foot back into my show! (Dear Alyssa, this is a show or two after the unfortunately hilarious incident of my dress being tucked into itself and me dancing this number with my shorts showing. How I wish I had pictures taken DURING that show!)
Anyway. Back to tonight, Fox Trot. Some things I learned/relearned/want to note: Heel Leads. Stand on supporting leg, compress, bend supporting leg with pulls other leg through, extend heel, push on to heel, and release back leg making this the new supporting leg, repeat.

I may have had other thoughts, but lets get back to entertaining you.

Second hour, 7:30-8:30, Jive! AKA, East Coast Swing.
Lots of fun, I keep smiling and pulling faces as I normally do in dance, especially swing.
What I learned/need to actually work on since I kept forgetting to do: put heel down on rock step.
I thought class was over at this time. Turns out there was a third hour! I was contemplating leaving since I start work tomorrow at 6 am... but I heard it was Viennese Waltz. I had to stay! So, from 8:30-9:30 I did just that.
And boy, is it Tuesday again yet?! It was the best hour of my life.
I couldn't stop grinning, I loved the combinations! I loved the movements, the routine is amazing!hold for three, burst, wheel in shadow, canter rhythm to outside partner, natural turn, three step to outside partner, natural turn, check, pivot, hold, whatever this step is called with the ladies arabesque to same foot lunge! Hold, swivels to turn to over sway, hold.... spin to hip check and turn to reverse/basic!

I felt like I was flying, floating... something amazing! I felt so graceful, the movement felt so natural. I felt like this:

(an oversway)
I want to video tape it next week to see if I actually look more like the ugly duckling... you know how your perception can be off? well... haha

Either way, I am SO excited for next Tuesday!!

Ahh Seattle... You are beautiful.

what I wore: second date





peacock button up shirt: nordstrom sum/fall 09
jeans: old navy
shoes: rocket dog dsw spring 10
necklace: target ...today!

Do you love how I will post 5 new posts in one day and nothing for months? ...yeah... me too.

I can't get over this song, I have have to listen to it over and over and over and over and over again! The beginning is a little weird, I don't understand the noises... but the song... oh man!


LOVE.

but for some reason my computer's speakers stopped working... it is bothering me quite a bit.

On another note: I just bought this necklace but I don't know if it is really ME or not.
It is a camera, with rhinestones! And a suitcase! But I don't know if I am a long necklace with random objects girl...

Local Natives also have a song called Camera Talk. ilovethem. :)

My camera does panoramic views and here are some shots I've done recently...



Seattle Skyline from Gasworks Parks in May with Sarah and Jordan Wagner and Trevor Brown


Seattle Skyline from my bike ride on Alki with Sam Acuna in July




TriCities view from a hike with Ryan Mears in July

Flower Boy

So, as I mentioned, I got asked out and went on a date where we rode bikes and ate thai and went to a concert. When he asked me out, was after Sunday School right before Relief Society and my face when bright red. I was wearing this outfit though... so I can't blame him. ;)



Well, after that I was going back to EFY and he said, maybe I'll write you a letter and I was shocked and said that would be amazing...

turns out he one upped himself... and sent flowers. A dozen red roses.... I was overwhelmed! I actually burst into tears when I saw it. A little bit because I wanted them to be from the merecat.
I think that since I had kissed the merecat, my emotions were definitely more there than anywhere else. But I was flattered and they were beautiful and he wrote a cute letter with them, saying he had taken a fancy to me and that he hoped this gesture wasn't too much but that it showed he was thinking of me.

Well, backpack now refers to flowerboy as , the one who is super in love with you. Flowers doesn't know about the merecat.

Do I date them both and see who wins? Well Flowers is moving back to provo soon.
Merecat is moving back to rexburg.

Whist typing this flowers just asked me out for tomorrow night... but through texting... kind of lame...

I need to be more open minded and give him a chance

...but I want it to be merecat!

what is it about the chase that is so desirable?

People wearing Mear-cat backpacks... Part 2.

How did he convince me to visit? Well his birthday had been the Monday before, and we were texting non-stop, serious we would pass out because we were texting so late at night. So we decide we will go hiking and do fun things and it was better than sitting, bored, alone at our houses.

So I meet his mom, sister and bro, oh man I love them. So funny, full of energy and just sweet people.

We went hiking and talked a lot, we went and played mini-golf and we made a bet that loser had to do what the winner wanted... so I ended up kissing him.
Then we went swimming and went back to his house and we made dinner and while we were cooking we started kissing again, this time for reals. I have always been an advocate for cooking with my future spouse because I think it can be romantic, and like the book, Like Water For Chocolate, I think emotions can be put into the food... that like that one movie with Sarah Michelle Gellar -- Simply Irresistible, that you can taste that the food has been made with happiness and joy and excitement. So we cooked. and the kitchen heated up.

Then his family came home and we ate dinner and played games and watched movies together and the next day I went home. And we continued to talk nonstop.

The next week was week 5 of EFY and the flirting was still there, but there had been a date I went on Friday night with whom we call Flower boy, for reasons that will be explained later...
And it was a blast! He taught me how to ride a bike, we ate Thai, and then we went to a concert! It was fun, but by the end I was so tired!

Backpack had a small complex about how much fun I had with him vs Flowerboy and asked me if I liked Flowerboy better because in a facebook picture my smile looked bigger than when he and I had gone hiking.

--I should mention that since the merecat had broken up with his girlfriend he had decided to date a lot of girls, try to 31 flavor challenge and he suggested I do the same, that it would either bring us together or we would find someone else. But as soon as I got asked on a date he got jealous, and when I left his house to go home to go on the date he was jealous.. haha
(now that I am typing all of this I feel so silly and that this is lame... arg.)

yada yada, that week passed and was slightly uneventful... we hung out on the weekend a little bit and then he got super sick and was sent home and I got sick and everyone thought he had gotten me sick but I don't really think so....

Anyway, he has been on dates with other girls but he still talks to me a lot, and we are legit best friends. He invited me to come back to visit him in two weeks for the fair, and he just invited me to go camping with him and his family next week. So... he keeps inviting me to family functions, like you would a girlfriend, and he talks /flirts with me like we are dating... but he also says things like, our friendship is my greatest concern and makes it clear that he considers me a friend but wants benefits of dating but wants to be dating others

and I get that... I mean he needs time to chill since he just broke up with whatsherface... and he will be going back to rexburg and I will be staying here so distance... but man... we are awesome together.

So I just need to get back to watching he's just not that into you
cause otherwise I talk myself into thinking we are dating and we are not.
We are best friends, and I am the rule.
If I were the exception he wouldn't be able to wait to date all these other girls, he would just want to date me.

So, am I cursed to be the best friend?

(I didn't mean for this post to end up on a sad self-pity-ing note...)

People wearing Mear-cat backpacks...

Remember in the past how I have written some stories about my awful dating experiences and I always give the guys a code name to protect their identity? Well, time for a new one... although hopefully this one doesn't turn into an awful dating experience?

This summer I met, well re-met since I met him last year, an EFY counselor who over the course of the summer got nicknamed People, Back Pack, and "Mear"cat... clever names I know.

Last year he had a girlfriend so I ignored him. Not true, though I only worked half a week with him and hardly knew him, so basically.

This year I meet him, and again a girlfriend... a different one from last year. ...but then he broke up with her.
And we were co-counselors. And our kids tried to set us up... He would try to make me blush in a new way every day, nay, every time he saw me.

Thus started out friendship, full of laughter and fun and poking fun at the other.
We had a good time as co's, it was easy for us to talk and he was so great with the kids, he really gave them everything he had.

Well, that weekend after the week of being co's was the 4th of July. I had to go get my hair re-done cause the roots were disgusting me. I knew he wanted to go to the aquarium and I wanted to as well.

Turns out he waited for me and we were texting the whole time... we ended up going to Seattle with a group of people but the aquarium had closed. after that we all went to Bremerton or somewhere ridiculously far away for fireworks, which was fun. I noticed the Merecat kept standing next to me, but I didn't think anything about it. After the fireworks we walked back to his car, and the people who drove out with us decided to get into a different car, so we were alone.
This is when he asked what the chances were of me saying yes to him asking me out, and I said. Are you asking me out. And he said, yes will you go on a date with me next week and I said, I'd like that!

We then proceeded to play 20 questions as we got stuck in terrible 4th traffic, but we were having a great time chatting.

The next day at church he was flirting with me like crazy! He loved the dress I wore, which we now call the "Purrfect" Dress, that or Kitty.

Yada yada, the next week he tried even harder to make me blush which wasn't that hard when he knew I liked him and it was a new group of girls. haha

Every night we would text for a long time, and one time he called and we talked for a real long time which surprised me cause normally I hate talking on the phone, but it is fun with him.

So that, the 3rd week of EFY was over and it was time to drive down to Portland for week 4. ...by some devious friends, they took my car and I drove down with him. We talked, we sang, oh we sang love ballads to each other! When we got down there we went to the beach and took some silly pictures, like this... for our set of EFY kids to think they had succeeded.
(PS, I do not know what is goin on with my badunkadunk, but it looks ca-razy.)

Once we got back from the beach we realized we were feeling sick and really tired, but decided to still do part of our date anyway--we were going to get chinese and go star gazing but we ended up eating peanut butter and pretzel m&ms on a field and chatting. We talk so easy, about anything, nothing, and everything.

well then, that 4th week I had some kids who dubbed his nickname, Backpack. They actually were kids of mine from last year, and they were happy I was there but sad I wasn't married and said, we will set you up with the next guy that walks by, and it just so happened to be him! And he was wearing his backpack... so... backpack.

But later I was talking to my friend about him and the whole situation and I didn't want to use names in front of her kids, so I said, People.

Anyway, then we flirted like crazy on the weekend but he left to go on a date, and after his date and when I was home, we texted from Saturday afternoon til Thursday morning... when I got to his house cause he convinced me to come visit.

(congrats for reading this far. hope its not too boring... but I just had a friend who suggested I journal it down either for Future Jenni or for my future kids. so...)

I love photography, I've never taken a class in it... and I haven't developed it too much... but I try to find moments. I sometimes see what others do and I try to imitate... but lately I've been feeling like I need more shots of myself. So I have been dabbling in the self portrait... and here we have Angelic

and Devious

Gulp.

Well, we all know that I have a tendency to stalk people.

And occasionally ex-boyfriends.

...man does it suck to accidentally stalk an ex and find out they're engaged... yeah, the one who said he would never get married.

Looking at my history with guys, I have noticed I've done a lot of silly things for guys... gone out of my way and tried to get their attention.

...this isn't a pity entry... honest. It just is so weird. I've done all those silly things to try to "change" a guy, to be the girl from all the romantic comedies who ends up getting the guy to want to marry her (27 dresses, he's just not that into you, etc) and it hasn't happened for me yet.

I am positive that one day I might be that girl. I am not too worried about not getting married... the when part is occasionally frustrating, but no big deal. It just sucks to have invested so much in people to not be able to show anything for it.

And then to find out that the ones who were so against marriage are finally getting married (to a girl three years younger than me [and who made a reference to twilight on her blog, when you called me crazy for reading twilight and you said you'd never date a girl who did! though I don't know if she read or likes the books... but still on principle that she made a reference to it]) stings a little. Even though I am totally over him!

I will always try to be the girl who is the exception to the rule, and not the rule. It's just who I am, no matter how cynical I pretend to be.

blah. it's just weird is all.

DSW Spoils = Spoiled Jenni


Madden Girl red pumps: $20?


Rocket Dog Summer Sneakers: $12.00

Report Tan Heel : $16
I first saw these and said, cool shoe but I think I have told my mom she should never wear anything like it but man this ambient music is getting to me and I think I must try them on Oh my goodness they feel like butter and make my feet look tiny! Eeek they are 50 bucks, I will think about it and if they are here next time I will get them.
Next time I show my mom and she is indifferent.
Then I decide, what they hay... they are 50% off clearance, Turns out they were 75% off! Woo!

What I Wore today (in homage to http://whatiwore.tumblr.com/ and http://haveacuteday.blogspot.com/ )



Brown Sweater: Old Navy fall 09
Blue pin striped button-up: H&M summer 08/09?
White lace tank: Nordstrom's rack summer 05/06?
Purple belt: Old Navy fall 09 ($3.00!! just got it on clearance a week or so ago!)
Destroyed Khaki pants: Gap Outlet... only 5 dollars. AWEsome. I love the button fly, the boyfriend fit, the color, the feel! So soft! Only thing I do not like is that they are "destroyed" so there are small patches that are roughed up spots... but honestly... amazing pants. The pockets are a great size and the back pockets are good too. Love.

I wore my rocket dog flats from DSW last fall.
Also, I am wearing a sweet little necklace my mom got me for my birthday (last week) from h&m. Love!

I hope I am doing the belted sweater right... it is a tricky thing.

DSW

So I went to DSW to kill some time while my dog was getting groomed... and here is what I found. I didn't buy anything... but that I took note of some birthday present ideas!!

I've been wanting a grey shoe, and I LOVE my rocketdog flats in multicolor, so I instantly fell in love with these ones.
http://www.dsw.com/dsw_shoes/catalog/product.jsp?index=1&sort=&category=&prodId=184979&brand=300325

Size 8 for anyone who is interested ;)

But then I was also sorta liking these...

http://www.dsw.com/dsw_shoes/catalog/product.jsp?index=6&sort=&category=cat20010&prodId=197315&brand=

but at the same time... I don't know if I want a grey heel...

As for red heels to go with my seafoam dress and all black dresses,

http://www.dsw.com/dsw_shoes/catalog/product.jsp?index=55&sort=&category=&prodId=201476&brand=300211

in a 7.5 please!

Also, I have been really wanted a multi-colored heel. I haven't found anything so far, and nothing to even say, ooh something like that. so... that search is on.

Dang you Target! You win again...

I went to Target the other day to pick up the new Covergirl shadow blast! I got the bronze fire smokey eye one, love it so far!Well, I didn't actually buy that when I went to Target, they were out.
But I did buy this dress that I am in love with.
I think I want red accessories for it, everyone remember I love sea foam green and red together?!


I also bought this top, but I am still unsure. What are your thoughts? PS- I know my mirror needs cleaned.

I did buy another shirt too. haha I will post that later!

Well I finally cleaned my room... though not as intensely as I had wanted... and it took me a few weeks. Hahaha

Well, I wanted to show you all one of my new favorite dresses... really just another great dress from the Canadian store Le Chateau. I LOVE their dresses.

New Finds

playlist.com
You can add a ton of songs to a playlist, and it will play them, for free! I know pandora is awesome cause it gives you artists that are similar to ones you already love and introduces you to new bands, but this site lets you listen to all the songs you love! No commercials, no waiting to hear a band you do know, and you can replay the song if you loved it!

So I am trying to spingclean my room... get rid of some clothes, get the clutter removed. I am trying to be heartless about my things, so that I can actually get rid of things...but I came across a pair of pants, and I tried them on and they did not fit. So, in this spring-cleaning spirit, I should just donate them. But I thought... why not give a date that I should be able to fit into them like say, May 5th, and if by that date they don't fit, then get rid of them? Good idea? Bad idea? Am I just being a hoarder? haha
Now, I don't think I am a hoarder (but isn't denial the first sign?) but I do want to keep certain things, just cause, or so that one day when/of I have kids they can read the books I read, they can wear the clothes I wore. I've been collecting? Stashing? haha Getting kitchen-y things for the day when I move out and don't have to spend tons of money to furnish my place. Is this smart? Or is it just going to make that move more stressful because I have so much stuff already? I've started buying picture frames because one day I would like to have a ton of awesome frames with cool pictures in them around my house, or on a mantel is some cool decorative way. But should I just be keeping the pictures and wait on the frames? I don't know.

I want to be able to just toss things, but is that being wasteful?

either way, I have been meaning to clean my room for a few days, but then I don't because my sister wants to take her kids swimming, or because my parents want to go to a movie, or because I decide to blog, or because I found a cool new music site, or because I got distracted and now want to buy some new clothes...
what do you think of these three shirts from charlotte russe?



Yeah, I know. I shouldn't be looking to buy new shirts when I still haven't gotten to cleaning my room or getting rid of clothes I actually don't, probably won't, haven't worn in months. But I want new things!

Sorry that my blogs are usually disjointed thoughts... haha

Well, I should get back to cleaning my room.



I told my nephew I couldn't play after swimming yesterday cause I need to clean my room, and he asked why so I fibbed and said Grandma Tracey said so, and he goes, oh she won't let you have any candy if you don't? I say, yes. SO then last night I see him again and he asks if I had cleaned my room, and I said, actually I got distracted by the TV and I didn't. He said, you clean your room or I'll be mad at you! I say, oh okay! and he goes, no, you say Yes Sir! haha what a riot!

But really, going back to cleaning. ...Or catching up on Grey's.

Lately I've been feeling blah about lunch, I just can't figure out what is a good lunch... something not too heavy and something nutritious... The other day my mom bought this salsa salad mix, and I loved it.
I recreated it on my own, I just cut up some lettuce or spinach, crushed up some tortilla chips, put a little bit of cheese on it, then spicy ranch dressing and salsa for the dressing! I could eat a whole head of lettuce, a whole bag of spinach this way... which would probably not be all that healthy. But sooo delicious! haha and if you don't have spicy ranch, you could use regular ranch, or sour cream. In the packet my mom bought it was spicy sour cream, which really was sour cream and salsa.
I bet with some cooked chicken it would be good too!

Belle of the Ball

Well yesterday I volunteered at the dance studio, per usual, it being a Wednesday and all. I am suppose to dress up, in slacks or a dress. Typically I wear slacks. But yesterday I was feeling especially blah and decided to wear a dress. I wore my blue Calvin Klien which I got for a steal of a deal, I think it was 20 bucks and originally it was something like 89 or 120. I am not sure, I never could find it online and it didn't actually have a tag, but I do know that Page, a sister of NieNie and CJane, wore it. Proof: http://www.cjaneanswers.com/2009/09/pages-pink-dress.html

Anywho, how can one girl be tired of her clothing? easy. And I guess yesterday was more a day of feeling blah in everything, so I felt the need to embellish and recreate my clothing.

First off, I've been wanting a chain necklace but all the ones in the stores were not quite right, too bulky, too plain, too hot, too cold, too long, too short, too hard and too soft, I needed one that was juuuuuuuuuuuuuuust right... so I went to JoAnn's and made my own. I bought three different chains and put them together in a matter of minutes, and viola!

So, I wanted to wear my necklace, that has a black chain, dark charcoal kind of a silver or maybe gun metal, and then a bright silver. I enjoy things that contradict just a little, like a Proper Punk. So, chain necklace with baby blue dress!

Then I noticed the dress was a little low, but I didn't want to ruin my hair and take it off and on again, over my head cause it has a silly side zipper... so I found some white lace I had laying around, cut a small section out and safety pinned it to my leotard. (remember, I was going to dance practice)

But I still felt something was missing/ I knew it was cold in the studio and that I didn't really want to wear a jacket so I needed a sweater of sorts. Lucky for me I had bought this half cardigan at walmart for 5 bucks on a whim, since I don't really like the half cardis. But I didn't really like it just being open, or buttoned... so I turned it into a "wrap" with what else? Safety pins!




And when I got to the studio the kids were like... you look like someone... a princess or.. Belle! so now they call me Beauty and I am okay with that!



shoes are rocketdog

this post inspired by a new blog I am loving, Have A Cute Day http://haveacuteday.blogspot.com/

Yikes. So, I am not trying to have pity party for my dating life, instead I am giving you a good laugh.
So I work at a gym as a receptionist. This means a lot of weird guys try to hit on me, because I believe myself to be an attractive woman, cute and funny, smart, creative, whatever. I've been hit on by older men, married men, and weirdos. Latest weirdo is Chris, again a fictitious name.
Chris had seemed interested in me for a few days, and finally yesterday he asks me the standard set up questions.
Do you go to school?
No, I graduated with my BS last year
What do you do in your spare time?
I work, I have three jobs. But when I don't work I sleep. Ha ha. I read and play card and board games with my family, and teach ballroom to youth.
Oh wow, so do you have a boyfriend?
No, I don't have time for one! (This is where I realized I made my mistake... but it was too late. And I am an honest person...)
He goes, oh wow really? That surprises me. So, you want to hang out sometime?
(This is where I try to use a cop out) Oh, that's kind of against the rules...
Oh... so you want to hang out sometime?
(Dude, did you not just hear me?)
He says, I am such a shy guy it takes me so long to try to talk to a girl
So I feel like I have to say, oh okay sure.
Then he says, oh great! Can I have your number?
(Dang it!) Uh... sure... so I write it down. But just so you know, I am not a phone talker.
Okay, cool well We'll talk later then!
(...I just said I hate talking on the phone...) Just so you know I do work all day today. (The truth.)

...so about an hour after he left I get a text, hey Jenny this is Chris from the gym, will you be free to talk later?

Oh sheesh, what did I get myself into?! Not to mention he shaves his head, which really isn't a problem, but I love hair. Oh, and he has this huge post in his ear, across the whole top of his ear, going from one side to the other. So while I may have been flattered to be hit on, since he isn't a Peter Priesthood I kind of dismiss it. Is that weird?

Well I wait a few hours before texting him back and saying something like, oh well I work all days so I won't have time, haha! Trying to be funny about it.

Then he texts back later saying, oh okay, will you have time to talk tomorrow?

So again, trying to be funny but also trying to let him know I hate talking on the phone and also trying to emphasize that I always work I say, No, I wasn't joking when I said I work all the time! (imagine me laughing after that, because it is true but trying to use humor.)

This morning I get this text from him "When you use an ! after your sentences, does it mean more than it is? Or are you telling me something? Like i'm texting too much? You're not sorry you gave me your number are you?"

...
Whoa. Take a breather man! It was an exclamation point!! But yes I am sorry I gave you my number you silly girl! First off, you only texted me twice, so no, you are not texting me too much, But you are being annoying too much. So I don't know what to write back to him. Because I know there isn't going to be a future for us, I am not actually interested in hanging out with him, and whoa. I just can not believe how insecure he is. It is actually kind of a sad situation.

And thus continues my romantically challenged-ness.

New favorite song of the week or so:


I want these shoes, but in white or black? http://www.cutesygirl.com/Classified_Design_Flats-PID29074-MID282266.aspx

Lastly, I finished the book Shutter Island! Psychological thriller, good read. Lots of swearing... but I did enjoy it. So now I am reading The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks, and I am wondering if I should continue to read books before the movie version comes out or after. I have usually read the book first, but I felt like that made Shutter Island a waste of my time to watch, except for not because Hello Leo! But, I already knew the ending, and the turn of events... same for My Sister's Keeper, the Lovely Bones and A Walk To Remember and etc. Usually, if I read the book far enough in advance I will actually forget details and it can be like a new story to me... and I always go into the movie with an open mind, appreciating the directors creative interpretation... but I have begun to wonder if I should wait to read the books.